Date:	Monday Nov 23, 2009 - 11:25 PM
Subject:	My Bicycle went missing today
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	Better than Ezra - Rolling

Much to my dismay, my bicycle was impounded today. I saw the sign out in front of the veterinary building at Taida, but all I could read was "bicycle," and not the "do not park your bicycle here." Having left my bicycle numerous times out front in the past few months, I didn't think it would be illegal, but I guess Taida is a little strict in this regards. If you don't place your bike exactly behind the required lines, they put your bike on a truck and take it to the "bike pound." When I discovered the empty spot where I had parked with the Chinese words written in chalk, I went to go ask my lab-mate for help. She came down and read the words to me and told me what had happened. We then went online and found the bike website. Apparently, they take a picture of bikes that are impounded and post it on their website. Here is mine.



Oh, my poor rusty, purple bike. Tomorrow I will go retrieve the "Shammy" (as Carlos has so kindly named).

Date:	Tuesday Nov 17, 2009 - 09:47 PM
Subject:	Rethinking my future
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed
Music:	Dashboard Confessionals - Hey Girl

Tonight at 12am, I received a phone call from Keenan telling me how his cat had vomited 3 times and had been squatting and squatting. When I finally realized he was telling me that his cat was blocked and had uremia (judging from all the information the vet had given him that afternoon), I sort of freaked out and told him to go back to the vet on emergency to have a urinary catheter placed in the cat. A lot of people don't realize this is an emergency but a cat can die within 36-48 hours from hyperkalemia, which causes the heart to stop beating when urine backs up to the kidneys. So when I couldn't fall asleep again, I rode my bike over to the vet and watched as I saw them put a catheter into its urinary bladder in the most unsterile method...

Every vet has differing opinions, and I didn't tell this one that I was a vet too because I didn't want to make him nervous. So I just kept asking him questions like what the cat's K+ values were and if he was going to give fluids. He told me that wasn't necessary to do, and I just looked at him confused. When he finally commented, "You must be a cat owner. You know a lot about animals." I finally told him I was a vet from the US. He looked surprised, got a little nervous, but that didn't seem to sway his mindset. So I kept asking and tried to give an explanation behind the fluids, and he finally gave in. I'm a little disappointed by the veterinary care I saw in Taiwan today.

Lately I've been rethinking my future and where I'd like to go after Taiwan. It's weird to think that the next two years of my life are already planned out ahead of me at such an early stage when I'm not entirely certain what I'd really like to do with my future. It almost seems so obvious, since I deferred school, put my deposit in already and am going to Harvard next fall. But I feel like maybe this was probably not the right decision, that maybe I should have gotten a job instead and clinically practiced for awhile. Sigh... I need to stop thinking. I thought it would have been clearer after a few months in Taiwan, but I think I'm just as confused as ever.

Date:	Sunday Nov 08, 2009 - 12:25 AM
Subject:	July 4th Fireworks in Taipei
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed
Music:	Clazziquai - Tell Yourself

Every year, a fireworks festival is held in a Taipei at the Dadaocheng Wharf beside Danshui River. I first heard about it through my lab-mates, who wanted to bring me there so that I could experience my first firework show in Taiwan. Because they said this would be a special event with some floral firework displays (to introduce the 2010 Flora Expo held in Taiwan this year), I decided, why not? Never let an opportunity pass you by in Taiwan.

But what I didn't realize was how many people would be there, and how insanely packed it would be with people pushing and shoving to see the fireworks. I should have suspected the crowd when we arrived at the MRT, and across the street was already a long line of people forming to take the shuttle bus to the wharf. We waited and waited and by the time we got on the shuttle, we were pushed to the back with barely any room to move. What was supposed to be a 10 minutes bus ride took 30 minutes through a very bad traffic jam created by all the people trying to head towards the wharf.

When we finally arrived, I thought what a relief to be able to breathe again, but this only lasted for a few minutes as we made our way towards the water and were met by huge crowds of people on the streets, so that we never even made it to the water. There were just too many people, not enough room to even pass through, so about a block away form the bridge, we had to stop and watch as a huge crowd on the streets went "Oooo" and Awwhh" to the fireworks.

If there was anything I got out of the experience, it was watching everyone's reactions to the fireworks. I think the Taiwanese have much more of an appreciation for fireworks, because rarely would you hear a crowd in the US "Oooo" to a firework display. It's just a shame it was so crowded, probably the most crowded I've ever experienced in life (worse than concerts in LA!).

The population in Taipei is just over 2 million people, only 1/4 of New York City (the most populous city in the US). It just surprises me that we ended up elbow to elbow in people, unable to even get to the area where the fireworks were supposed to be displayed.

Date:	Wednesday Oct 28, 2009 - 09:52 AM
Subject:	Hiking 茶棱古道
Security:	Public
Mood:	thankful
Music:	Five for fighting - Riddle

I've decided I have one of the most awesome Fulbright advisors at NTU (Taida). Today, he brought the whole lab on a hike through 茶棱古道, a historic trail on the north-eastern coast of Taiwan. The area was scenic with grassy hills overlooking the ocean. On the eastern end of the trail was Turtle Island, an island which is only accessible to a limited number of people each day. I admit my legs are sore from the hike, which involved climbing a number of stairs and walking for 6 hours straight, but it was good. I got to have some good bonding time with my lab-mates, exchanging English with Chinese and learning a little bit more about their lives outside the lab.

I think that sometimes researchers become so ingrained with work, constantly worrying about publishing papers, writing grants, and beating the clock to compete against other scientists doing similar research. This kind of work ethic is admirable sometimes, but what about life outside the lab? What about the importance of socializing and working together? This is why I think it's awesome that my professor took off an entire weekday to take us out on a hike for our "autumn field-trip." He even invited family members and our personal pets so that we had 20 people, 3 dogs, and a 5 year old kid riding around in a mini-bus to the Yilan area. Then he treated us all out to dinner and bought us drinks after the hike. He's that awesome!

Date:	Thursday Oct 22, 2009 - 11:15 PM
Subject:	Roxy has mammary carcinoma
Security:	Public
Mood:	worried
Music:	Panic at a Disco - It's Time to Dance

I've been enjoying my Fulbright Fellowship in Taiwan so far, except for the major downside of living on the other side of the world and having to be so far away from family and friends. I feel oblivious to reality sometimes and what is going on in the lives of people I used to be ingrained in on an everyday basis. Familiar voices are now seldom heard because of the 12 hour difference. Morning in Taipei is night in the US. When I wake up, brush my teeth, and rush to Chinese class, people in the US are having a late night dinner and heading off to bed. Vice versa, when I'm tired and ready to fall asleep, people back home are just about to start their morning.

Taiwan is really not that far away. With current technologies, it's really only a flight away. Everyday, there are multiple direct flights going from Taipei to Los Angeles. All I'd really have to do is hop on a plane and in 13 hours, I technically could be back at home, petting my dog and having dinner with my family, but life itself is never that easy from thousands of miles away. In time, I will fly back home.

For the most part, I've been really loving Taiwan. People here are incredibly nice and I've made a tons of friends who I enjoy talking to over meals. I've learned more about a culture and myself than I realized before coming here, and I've had the opportunity to explore new places I've never seen before, but today, I was faced with reality and the problems involved with living abroad. I received an email from my brother saying my dog was diagnosed with mammary carcinoma. At first, I took it pretty well. I sort of read the email, thought to myself, "Shit, that sucks," and went on with my daily routine doing research. Occasionally, I'd take a peak at oncology websites racking my brain about the details I learned on my past oncology rotation, and then I'd keep playing with the GIS program I've been trying to learn over the past week.

I pretty much held it together until Miles called, and I just about broke into tears. It's weird how sometimes you can keep yourself calm and go on with life like nothing is wrong, until you place yourself in reality and just burst. That's pretty much what happened today.

Being a veterinarian doesn't really help either. In fact, I'm probably going against everything I was taught by saying, I don't want her to go through chemotherapy. That is certainly not the Cornell way now is it? But Cornell didn't teach me how to deal with things like this.

Date:	Thursday Oct 01, 2009 - 10:00 AM
Subject:	The Fulbright so far
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	Clazziquai - Tell Yourself

A lot of people have been asking what my typical day is like in Taipei. To be honest, everyday has been a little different here. The first month into the Fulbright was much more varied. In the beginning of September, we kick-started the year with the Fulbright Orientation in Taipei, where about 40-50 of us researchers/ETAs/professors presented our proposals, and did a lot of mingling and munching. It seems like we have a very diverse group this year. Most of the research projects were really interesting but on the social sciences like philosophy, religion, and Asian studies. I seem to have been one of the few if only science-based projects, which makes it easy to explain but difficult to understand when people are talking to me about their work. It's funny to be lost in conversations like how meditation can be linked with prisoners on their end and then for me to have to explain what PCR is. Being the only veterinarian, it makes me feel a little special and different from the others. I think some people at the orientation noticed this because I had a few people come up to me afterwards to tell me how interested they were in learning more about avian influenza.

The following weeks involved visiting a number of different places like the Animal Health Research Institute and Bureau of Animal and Plant Health Inspection and Quarantine. It was pretty cool talking to people throughout Taiwan about their work and putting it all together, but a difficult task to understand current events in broken Chinese. For the most part, I expected everything to be more political and controversial because avian flu is such a sensitive topic when it comes to the socio-economic effects it can have, but I only got a sense of some resistance from one government official when I said, "So tell me about these cases on avian influenza," and he responded with, "How do you know about this?!" That pretty much shut me up immediately... and I decided to take the tactic on praising Taiwan for its work in keeping HPAI out of the country instead. He seemed to enjoy that much more but I don't think I really learned too much more from that conversation.

My professor is awesome in that he's allowed me to do anything I want to do with my work, visit different laboratories, participate in conferences, and enroll in Chinese courses at the same time. I think I've really lucked out with picking him as an advisor.

Date:	Saturday Sep 12, 2009 - 10:55 PM
Subject:	Luodong
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy

I went to Jaosi this weekend to continue my research on avian influenza. On the way, we stopped by the Luodong Night Market where I had some strange mutton soup and rice noodles, and then ended up running into a fellow Fulbrighter (who apparently didn't recognize/see me. More details about this later). The Luodong Night Market was different from other night markets I'd been to. It still featured your typical greasy Taiwanese snacks, but also had other types of food like Fen yuan and yiang ro tang. It also just seemed a little more authentic than Shilin or Shida night market, maybe because of being located in a smaller city.

When we finished eating, we headed back to our secluded hotel in Jaosi, a town known for its hot springs. Maybe I was expecting something a little dingier, but this hotel was really sweet, the nicest I'd stayed in while living in Taiwan. Our rooms were huge with luxurious beds, a hot tub (our own personal hot spring!) and a view of beautiful green fields. This beat my tiny room back in Taida by a million times, so I was super excited when I walked in and had the chance to take a bath and get some rest.

The only downfall was that I'd have to wake up at 6am the following morning to go pick duck poop in the pond. I asked my lab-mate how it was possible that we could afford a hotel room like this, and she said this is what we'd have to pay in order to pick poop at the pond behind the hotel. Sketchy in my opinion, but something I will not question if every other week I get to sleep in a place like this.

Date:	Wednesday Sep 02, 2009 - 01:10 AM
Subject:	Food poisoning
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	Alishan

My parents have come and left for Los Angeles again. We spent our time traveling throughout Taiwan from the north to the south, seeing the main sites. We made stops at Taichung (with nothing in particular to see), Ershui (in search of macaques), Jiji (where we visited an endangered species facility and rode scooters), and Baguashan (a temple towering over Taichung), but it was in the south at Kaoshiung that we finally met our defeat and came down with food poisoning. Who knows if it was from seafood in Cijin or shaved ice near the pier, but it was damn nasty. First my father went down, then my sister, then my mother, and just when I was feeling rather proud having not come down with the stomach flu, I found myself laying in bed sick to the stomach as well. I was the only one who did not barf, but we were all a terrible sight to see. All four of us in one hotel room, sick to the stomach, taking turns to use the bathroom, groaning with pain, and weak to the bone. When my family's friends came to visit us, they were startled by the sight and insisted on bringing us to the hospital. We hopped in their van looking very sickly as they drove from one place to the next trying to find a doctor's office that would be open on Sunday afternoon. None was available so we drove back to our hotel feeling rather sickly, took some medication, ate little to nothing, and went on with our ways.. lying in bed, going to the bathroom, puking, etc.

The next day, we were surprisingly fine. My sister described it as the worst pain she's ever felt, like knives jabbing her in the stomach. Do not, I repeat, do not eat seafood or shaved ice near Cijin. It is terrible.

Date:	Tuesday Sep 01, 2009 - 10:36 PM
Subject:	Ironic
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	Pat Monahan - Her Eyes

If you haven't read the Last Lecture, I suggest you pick up a copy and read it. The Last Lecture is a tale by a professor who gave his last lecture before he died of pancreatic cancer. In this lecture, he described how he had tried to fulfill his childhood dreams and live life to its fullest, becoming a Disney Imagineer, making movies or games for a living, creating the Alice Project, receiving tenure and taking his entire lab to Disneyworld, etc.

It's ironic to think that the same weekend I was reading about this man who tried to make every last minute of his life meaningful, I also met a man who tried to commit suicide not once, not twice, but three times. This was my father's old classmate, an unmarried bachelor dragging himself to wake up every morning of his life. We ate lunch with him as we listened to him joke around (in Chinese) about how he had unsuccessfully jumped out of the 4th floor of a building. He took swigs of beer as he told the story with his face getting redder by the minute.

My mother looked horrified. Death was not to be joked about. My sister, who's Chinese is not so good, sensed the uneasiness and asked my mother what was being said. As if we had virgin ears, she said, "Oh, he's joking about an accident. That's all." Little did she know my ability to comprehend Chinese was good enough to understand the truth. There is nothing to be hidden anymore.

Date:	Monday Aug 10, 2009 - 03:10 AM
Subject:	Let it pour!
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy
Music:	Buddhist monks praying

My language exchange partner took me to Longshan Temple today on this very rainy day. It was very crowded though because today was the celebration of Buddha's first day as a god, so the place was packed with people bringing gifts to pray to the gods. On a rainy day, this was a bit unpleasant, especially since my cheap Taiwanese umbrella finally decided to give up on me.

I never realized how religious my language exchange partner was until he began to explain to me all the different gods, and why he believed in Guangying Buddhism. I could see the excitement in his eyes and he took me from one Buddhist statue after another, praying to each one in the rain and stopping to explain each one to me as he became fully soaked and blocked off the line of people behind us. Oh we were such a site, him wet to the bone, me trying to hide under a crooked umbrella while holding incense sticks that began dripping with red paint from the rain... but I said my prayers, asked my LE if I could go buy a new umbrella, and then went off to explore the rest of the old city center near Longshan.

I should have taken it as a hint when my LE stopped me in front of a street sign that said, .... Lu. I didn't think anything of it, as many roads are named peculiar things in Taiwan, but then we passed by a restaurant with snakes and tons of mice, even a rabbit out in front. I was so confused and asked my LE why there were so many exotic animals out in front of a restaurant. Could it really be? Did people actually eat them? "Yes," he exclaimed and took me to another restaurant with more snakes displayed out front. "We will eat snake soup today!" he exclaimed.

I really thought he was joking but he was really dead serious. I took one look at the menu and all they sold was snake! Snake soup, grilled snake, snake with special sauce, snake with rice. I was shocked, but within a few seconds he had a bowl of snake soup in front of us and he was picking out a nice meaty piece for me to eat.

"Oh that's a little big, how about a smaller one?" I asked and he gave me a piece which I cut in half and gave back to him. Yes, I actually ate it but spit out a bunch of bones in the whole process. My LE told me later that I was the only LE he'd ever had who actually tried snake! Oh.... had I known. I didn't want to offend him. At least it tasted like chicken!

Date:	Monday Aug 10, 2009 - 02:44 AM
Subject:	Asian women = bad driving?
Security:	Public
Mood:	scared
Music:	Clazziquai - Tell Yourself

On Saturday, I rode with my friend in her car and experienced what truly "bad driving" is all about in Taipei. Asian women are unfortunately tainted with the stereotype of being bad drivers. I'd like to think that this so not true being an Asian woman myself, but lol.... Oh it is only so true in Taipei. I given a reality check as I sat in the passenger seat fearing for my life as my friend drove haphazardly, nearly crashing in every lane she pulled into. There's nothing like getting yelled and glared at by a handful of angry drivers on the road in Taipei. If they were cussing, I didn't know about it. All I comprehended was, "Don't you know how to drive, lady?"

The amazing thing was she never dented her car! I tried to remain calm by cheering her on or warning her about others she might crash into, and at one point switched places with her to help her park her car. It only brings back memories of driver's ed...

We ended up getting lost a lot, and then going to Carrefour, a mega-store in Taipei that's sort of like Walmart with a grocery store. I bought some purple rice bread, a food item I've never seen before, and a bunch of curious fruits that seems to be native to Taiwan.

Date:	Saturday Aug 08, 2009 - 12:14 AM
Subject:	My first typhoon
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	Tori Amos - Because the night

I experienced my first typhoon in Taiwan today! It was interesting to peer outside my window to empty sidewalks and streets, and rather calming to see such desolation, despite the grey, dreary skies and gush of winds. I spent the day inside cleaning my room, finishing work, reading. Then got hungry after eating my bowl of instant noodles so decided to brave the wind and rain by running across the street to the only store that was open, 7-11.

It's amazing how much Taipei relies on 7-11. They are literally everywhere, rarely can you even walk a few blocks without passing by one. It's not your typical convenient store like the ones in America. They are much more popular here. Not only is it open 24-7 (typhoon or not), people here can pay their utilities at the counter, print homework, buy tea eggs/dumplings/fish balls/soymilk, etc. Who would think that even the government would get involved with a convenient store for utility bills?

The only disappointment after getting drenched and having my hair blown in all directions was that 7-11 was out of sushi. Figures that on a day when all restaurants and markets are closed, people would buy all three shelves of sushi, so I had to resort to tea eggs for a snack. Hopefully, everything will be open again tomorrow. Otherwise, it's oatmeal for the rest of the weekend and whatever is left in 7-11!

Date:	Sunday Jul 05, 2009 - 05:53 PM
Subject:	Language Exchange
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	Super Junior - It's You

In the process of adjusting to Taiwan, I decided maybe the best way to improve my Chinese would be to find someone for language exchange. I found a couple of people offering LE online and on the bulletin board of Shida and tried unsuccessfully to contact these individuals. Since I wasn't having very good luck, I decided to post an ad on Tealit. This also failed because Tealit wouldn't post anything until I uploaded a photo, so I found a tiny photo of me next to Ithaca Falls and Bam! Suddenly, I was swarmed with emails from random Taiwanese people. Some very friendly, some people offering a little more...

"I used to be the champion of Chinese composition. I am confident I will be able to improve your mandarin!"

"I am having a difficult time finding someone for LE. Everyone wants LE to find a girlfriend. I do not want to find a girl."

"It is funny. I am currently under a drug test for weight loss. I cannot eat or drink anything the nurse does not allow. When can we meet for LE?"

Lol... oh my.... I finally found a couple near my area who were a little bit more normal.

Date:	Wednesday Jul 01, 2009 - 08:17 AM
Subject:	A bad day with mosquitoes
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated
Music:	super junior - super super

I walked into a dark, poorly lit bathroom today and tried to switch on the lights. What a mistake when I found another switch in the bathroom stall labeled in indecipherable Chinese characters. I pushed the button and nothing happened, so I pushed it a few more times and still… nothing. It wasn’t until 30 seconds later when people came running in out of breath that I realized I had accidentally pressed the “emergency button” in the bathroom stall. Wow, being illiterate in Taiwan sure has its consequences. Note to self, learn the meaning of emergency in Chinese.

Even ordering food has been difficult. I’ve been finding myself circling restaurants trying to look at what people are eating, if there is a menu with pictures, or if I can find vegetarian food (which I have been craving for). Half the time I kind of give up out of frustration that I can’t find what I want to eat or embarrassment that I can’t order food properly. Other times I get too hungry so I sit down and write one in Chinese next to random items on the menu that I think have chicken, tofu, vegetables, or fish because I can at least read those characters. When the plate of food arrives, I’m often surprised by what I receive. Luckily, I have not received any “frog” yet. I was told by a friend that I should be careful with my random ordering technique because frog contains the character for chicken, and he happened to order frog by accident once.

Date:	Thursday Jun 25, 2009 - 05:16 AM
Subject:	Ganbai
Security:	Public
Mood:	giggly
Music:	Imogen Heap - Headlock

It has become more and more obvious how little I know about Taiwanese culture and how much I have yet to learn. I am still having a difficult time understanding mandarin, particularly when people are talking about science or history. Today, I attended two oral examinations that were presented by two masters students, studying Salmonella and H4N6. All the Powerpoint presentations were given in Chinese, but luckily written in English so I could read along and try to decipher spoken words.

Sitting in the presentations, I noticed how well respected the professors were treated. None of the students took any food or snacks. They sat drinking their tea. Only the professors had food, which had been served to them and piled high with fruit (to the point where none of them could finish any of it). I was treated somewhat in between, given a box of baked goods and special desserts, which might I add looked delicious! (DVM from Cornell = desserts = me with a satisfied appetite).

After the presentation, I was offered a "ride" to the restaurant to go celebrate the end of the term year. However, what I thought was a ride in a "car" was actually a ride on the back of a "bicycle." I felt a little bit embarrassed not knowing how to sit on the back of a bicycle with an umbrella on hand and my purse (it was raining), but I watched carefully as the other girl sat behind her boyfriend and maneuvered her way around. My first ride on the back of a bicycle was awesome and rather charming by a cute Taiwanese boy who I couldn't completely understand in conversation.

I should have taken it as a hint when he asked me if I liked to drink "jiou" (alcohol). I told him occasionally. Then he said, "jing ten, wo men huai ho hen duo jiou" (Today, we will drink lots of alcohol).

I thought he was joking but as soon as we got to the restaurant, the food started coming in and bottle after bottle of beer was poured into our glasses. Apparently, Taiwanese culture is very similar to Japanese culture in that you toast (while saying, "Ganbai!") and drink. Well, there was a lot of "Ganbai!" and a lot of drinking involved, but it was done in the most polite fashion. People bowing their heads at each other saying thank you or congratulations and then downing an entire glass of beer.

Soon our table became rowdy and the truth began to pour out about everyone! Stories about one professor who had been on a tv dating show in the past. Another about naughty rumors spread on the internet. Jokes about how I drink like someone from Massachusetts, not someone from Texas (Lol... apparently my sips are the size of Massachusetts, not Texas?) When it was time to go home, my bicyclist was a little tipsy and gave me a wobbly ride home while yelling, "Trust me! Just trust me!" as I laughed and told him to get off his bike and let me ride him home.

What a crazy night!

Date:	Sunday Jun 21, 2009 - 04:33 PM
Subject:	Taiwan
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	coldplay - viva la vida

Ever since vet school, my livejournal entries have dwindled to nearly nothing. Vet school can easily change a person, sucking other pleasures in life away so that there is a constant distraction that must be attended to. Being in Taiwan now, I feel as the pace has changed. I can take my time to enjoy life and learn about a culture that is only so familiar through my hometown back in Alhambra, California.

Being in Taiwan explains quite a bit about why my family is the way they are. Constantly worried about me all the time. Making sure that a "shao ni hai zhi" (small little girl) can fly to Taiwan by herself.

When I arrived at my hotel in Taipei, I was greeted as if the hotel management already knew me, "Ni hao, Ni ing gai shi Annie Li." How in the world did they know who I was? The truth is, the hotel had already received numerous phone calls from 4 different people confirming the existence of my name on the reservation sheet, confirming the name of the hotel in both English and Chinese, the location/phone number of the hotel in both languages, and warning them about my late night arrival. Oh... the pleasures of making people worry.

People in Taiwan are forever generous. Just today, I received a huge care-package from someone I had never met before. This package consisted of two overflowing bags filled with the following items: clothes hanger, dishwasher soap, laundry detergent, instant noodles (in case of a typhoon), umbrella, various utensils, a bowl, slippers (unfortunately too small for my unusually large Asian feet), envelopes, 3 different sized subway maps (personally laminated might I add!), and a note stating, "Please do not go outside during a typhoon. It is dangerous." I was thoroughly pleased with the gift.

Date:	Saturday Feb 21, 2009 - 10:42 AM
Subject:	Life goes on
Security:	Public
Music:	coldplay

I passed my veterinary boards, saw my family in California, celebrated Chinese New Year with them (haven't done this for 6 years), and came back to Ithaca, NY to finish my clinics. I've been getting into the groove of working in the small animal hospital. The other day I found a heart murmur in a cat that two other people didn't find. Then, I took care of a dog with thymoma and received my first box of chocolates from people who said they couldn't have received better care from another veterinary student. I was very pleased. It's so nice to receive appreciation from pet owners, who believe in you. One to two more months before I find out where I'm going after vet school.

Date:	Sunday Oct 19, 2008 - 06:06 PM
Subject:	Shedding tears on small animal medicine
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed
Music:	coldplay - fix you

I realize I haven't updated in awhile. In the last few weeks, I've been back in Ithaca, NY on clinics and enjoying the stress and long hours. Currently, I'm on small animal medicine. The joy of 14 hour days, even when you have no patients in the hospital!

I had a mental breakdown yesterday. Utterly embarrassing (when I had nothing in particular to cry about)! I've heard of stories about people doing this, but I felt like shit and awfully peeved about something else, so I just broke down, walked out on a resident, and cried in the bathroom. 15 minutes later, I got a page on my beeper asking where I was. An hour later, I was talking to the resident in tears apologizing for my behavior. A few hours afterwards, I was vomiting and falling asleep in bed, as Miles was trying to figure out if I had vomited up my Ibuprofen.

I suppose I am not cut out for clinics. Clients like me because I'm a nice person and take care of their animals, but little do they know about my lack of experience (except for those who actually notice I'm younger than everyone else in the clinic). It certainly takes a toll in the back room when I'm asked too many questions by clinicians that like to grill me to death, making me feel stupid. I like things simple, simple does it for the clients, simple doesn't do it for clinicians at Cornell.

Sometimes I need to tell myself to just breathe.... and take it as it comes.

Date:	Wednesday Jul 23, 2008 - 08:20 PM
Subject:	Rome, time to write
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed
Music:	michel thomas

I arrived in Rome over a week ago, very exhausted because my flight was delayed after my 13 hour lay-over in Washington D.C. I am not to complain, since my friend Danielle also had a delayed flight for two days and ended up sleeping on the aiport seats covered with a stolen table cloth from a restaurant nearby.

Rome is hot and humid, full of history and architecture, but unfortunately not everything that lived up to what everyone claims it to be. There is something more magical about being in a developing country, where vibrant culture replaces the use of technology.

Italian food is at least good, especially the gelatto, but after a few days I've grown a little tired of cheese, bread, and tomatoes. Every time I pass by a Chinese restaurant, I can't help but be drawn to the aromas and a familiar voice I can actually understand. I love Chinese food, what can I say? Plus, there is nothing like having gelatto after rice and tofu!

I started work a week ago, and it's been pretty much what I expected. The FAO is a huge maze. The day I arrived, the secretary picked me up from the lobby and showed me up to my office. When we reached the fifth floor of the endless hallways and offices, she left me there confused, expecting me to know what to do without meeting anyone or showing me where anything was. "Where's Juan?" I asked. "Where's Akiko? How about Danielle?" No one was in. They were on mission or holiday. Luckily, my classmate Danielle was sitting in an office nearby and gave me the run-through about the FAO.

Apparently, volunteer interns are a dime a dozen. She said she spent two weeks doing absolutely nothing, sitting in front of the computer mindlessly, until she began walking around telling people she was going to kill herself if she didn't have something to do. That seemed to work and she got a few assignments, which she worked on, and now has found out will not be used for the website.

It's very easy to do nothing in a place like this. Kind of like the Office Space if you've ever seen it, but I actually don't mind so much. It's nice to be able to sit in my own office and pull random books out of the shelf and read about infectious diseases. It beats the chaos of clinics! I've probably had a better experience then Danielle, since I've been lucky too meet more people.

Akiko even came back near the time I arrived and took me around the entire hall to meet people. She is so funny, always stopping people in the hallway to say, "Please let me take a moment to introduce you to Dr. Li. She is a volunteer working with Juan!" Lol, Dr. Li who then has to explain she is not a doctor but a vet student from Cornell.

My project has switched about 5 times now. It's become very evident that a lot of repetition occurs in the FAO. Work that's assigned turns out to be done already, and I've been careful about avoiding this like the plague. It's gone from mapping bluetongue to creating a list of vaccines to studying Avain Influenza in wildlife to studying HPAI in Vietnam to making a HPAI country fact sheet. We'll see what assignment I get next before I discover it's already been done!

Date:	Wednesday May 14, 2008 - 10:33 PM
Subject:	Clinics
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	imogen heap - missing you

I was told that I should update my journal throughout my clinical experiences at Cornell. So far, I have lagged behind so in a summary, this is what it feels like to be a vet student undergoing clinics.

Community Practice Services: Feeling rather good about becoming a clinician. Met President Skorton and took care of his dog. Awesome experience! I may go into practice after all.

Large Animal Medicine: Utter confusion. Cried my eyes out every other day. Most of my animals died. Got yelled at quite a number of times due to my ignorance. I would rather cake myself in cow dung than take this rotation again. Clinical practice is not for me. :o(

Orthopedic Large Animal Surgery: Feeling very relieved after medicine. Saw some cool surgeries that I will probably never perform, but still pretty cool to see.

Ambulatory: There is nothing like the feeling of sticking your arm up a cow's ass and determining she's pregnant. Yeah! (actually, I'm not at this point yet, but wouldn't it be nice to get it right every single time!).